Cool Blue Shed - Dave’s Shelf

Damn and blast the BBC for keeping me ensnared.
When the Euros began four weeks ago, I really could not have cared.
I was not going to watch a single game, but it soon got under my skin.
Before too long I went online and was backing Holland to win.
I saw game after game after game after game, from the comfort of my sofa.
Every night between seven and ten I became one hell of a loafer.
As the final got close I thought to myself I’ll soon get back to the shed,
But then Wimbledon started, my favourite event, and I watched from dawn to bed.
Digital interactive, choose your matches 24 hours a day.
Just press the red button and lose yourself, what more can I say?
Hawkeye calls and four hour battles have kept me on the edge of my seat.
I knew I was watching far too much – and then came the Glasto beat.
That red button again, select a stage from the world’s biggest music fest.
Buddy Guy, The Gossip and The Raconteurs were the ones I liked the best.
So damn and blast the BBC for keeping me ensnared.
For more than three weeks I’ve been your slave; I’ve sat down and I’ve stared.

Sue’s sister is paying one of her flying visits from the States. We picked her up from Birmingham airport last night.

Airports are not the most friendly of places in the world, but strangely enough I had rather a nice time, sitting in an outlet of Costa Coffee, watching the world go by.

Birmingham is quite a small airport (especially for one that proudly calls itself Birmingham International) and most of the flights coming into Terminal 2 were small planes making quick hops from North West Europe. Sue’s sister was on a flight from Brussels, where she’d been working for a few days.

Most of the passengers had clearly been on short business trips and for many the only luggage they had were laptops. The majority of people were able to make their way through the terminal and out into the car parks before the big suitcases had even been thrown on to the back of one of the luggage trucks.

A few pilots walked past whilst we sat there sipping our coffees, striding forward in that professional pilot manner, heads held high, cufflinks gleaming. It suddenly struck me as odd that in this age of commonplace air travel, pilots are still held in such high regard. They’re still treated like supreme beings.

This isn’t true for other modes of transport. We don’t award the same sense of awe to drivers of buses and underground trains. In the past, of course, flying was a luxury mode of transport, but that’s no longer the case. A flight to Paris can now be cheaper than the journey to the airport, and much cheaper than the parking charge you get on your return.

So maybe pilots should reflect this. Instead of shiny cufflinks, these days they should wear scruffy t-shirts, oil stained jeans and always be seen clutching a bacon sandwich and a mug of tea. And rather than all that “good evening ladies and gentlemen…” nonsense on the tannoy, it should be “right, next stop Belgium, hold tight!”

A few nights ago I was speaking to good friend Nick and we both agreed that we weren’t at all interested in Euro 2008. Neither of us are particularly interested in football anyway, but we’d usually watch the big tournaments. That wasn’t going to happen this year. Euro 2008 was going to pass us by.

Or so I thought…

After the call ended, I wandered downstairs and found myself watching Holland against Italy. And I’ve been hooked ever since, hence why there have not been many updates on this blog over the last few days. I get home from work. I watch football. I go to bed.

I don’t know what it is that draws me into the big tournaments. I have no interest at all in club football. I remember, after enjoying the 1986 World Cup, I decided to take a keener interest in the sport, choose a club and follow it. But on the first day of the 86/87 season, I just knew I that I wasn’t going to get into it. I felt no affiliation, either with the team I’d chosen as a wee lad (Liverpool) or the local side (Northampton). I couldn’t care less.

This attitude has prevailed. Most of the time, football just doesn’t enter my life at all. But every two years, with either the Euros or the World Cup, I get completely enthralled in the whole thing.

So who am I going for? After watching their performance against Italy, I went online and stuck a fiver on Holland.

Well, the first phase of the Cool Blue Shed re-launch is now complete, with the Music Shelf now well up and running with a month’s worth of content up there. Thanks to everyone who sent in a supportive comment. Much appreciated.

Time now to take the foot off the peddle and ease up a bit. Not too much, just a bit. Just enough to give me time to read through this year’s Edinburgh Fringe programme, which dropped through the letterbox yesterday morning. Maybe it’ll give me some ideas for the forthcoming Comedy Shelf (yep, still planning to add that as well).

I’ve had a couple of conversations with friends over the weekend that have skirted around the issue of politics.

The older I get, the less interested I am in party politics. I know what I believe in (freedom of speech probably being the main one), but I don’t feel comfortable aligning myself to any organisation whose function is to govern. Will I be voting at the next election? I always thought I would, but I probably won’t. The thought of stepping out of the political system is one that I find I am increasingly comfortable with.

I think I’ve mentioned this in the past - I don’t think I could ever vote FOR someone. My vote will always be a negative one. I’ll vote for person A, because I don’t like person B.

It looks likely that the era of New Labour is coming to an end, which to be honest I don’t mind at all. All governments treat their subjects like naughty schoolchildren, telling us how to live and how to behave, and New Labour have been no different. Some people went off Labour when Blair committed us to Iraq, but it was the smoking ban that did it for me. I don’t smoke, never have done, but I like a smoky pub. Pubs aren’t supposed to be healthy places. That’s the point. You wanna be healthy? Go down the gym!

Anyway, the point of this little post is that it looks increasingly likely that the Conservatives will win the next General Election and that Britain will once again have a Tory government. And I, for one, am well looking forward to that. I miss having a Tory government. The thing about the Tories is that out of all the main political parties, they’re the ones that represent my interests the least. And it’s great having the party you dislike the most up there on the pedestal. That’s what I miss – having people you despise at the top. The moment they get elected they’ll once again become the main target and the fun will start all over again. It’s already happening. Boris Johnson has only been Mayor of London for a few weeks and already there’s been a temporary anarchic revolution on the tube. What further larks do we have to look forward to? Plenty, I would think.

Something has been happening at my dental surgery.

There’s the smell of new paint as you enter through the main door. There are tall pot plants placed near the reception desk. Where there was once a scruffy pile of five year old magazines, there is now a fine selection of up to the minute publications covering a variety of subjects, including motoring, gardening and even music. There are today’s newspapers to peruse. Instead of posters about tooth decay blu-tacked to the walls, there are now flat screen televisions showing recent blockbusters. A smaller LCD screen hangs from the ceiling above the dentist’s couch and displays the BBC’s sports page.

It’s all very pleasant, more motel than dental surgery, but as well as the above changes, there’s also been an astronomical increase in fees - the ideals of the health service (which dentistry, to be fair, was always not entirely comfortable with) seem to have been swept out into the backyard along with all the other old junk now waiting to be taken to the nearest landfill site.

What’s more, our dentist, a nice chap generally, has turned into a salesman. Once he has his fist in your mouth and you’re unable to answer in intelligible English, he starts up his patter.

“Hmmm,” he says, “your bottom row is a bit cramped. We offer a really good service, you know, where we could straighten those out for you. Could make them whiter too. Could do the whole lot for you for around £5000. I’ll give you a leaflet.”

Before you know where you are, you’ve been marked down for requiring a repair to a filling (yeah, right), your credit card has been swiped and you’re back out in the street carrying an armful of leaflets, pamphlets and booklets all offering to transfer your measly mouth into the dental equivalent of Las Vegas casino.

I dump the leaflets into the bin as soon as I get home. £5000 for new teeth? He must be kidding.

So yet another post starts with an apology for not updating in a while. I’ve been running behind too over on the music blog. But I’ve caught up now. (If you’ve not yet checked out the music blog, then please do – there are many treats to be found there.)

The reason for this recent lack of work is that Sue and I have had our first holiday of the year, and by holiday I mean in the UK sense of not having to go to work for a week. We’ve used this time to do lots of jobs around the house. We’ve painted the shed (it’s still blue), the fence, the garden furniture and the big expanse of decking at the bottom of the garden (not blue), we’ve tidied up the kitchen, replacing sealant and patching up some of the cupboards, we’ve held a family BBQ and then had a smaller affair for just ourselves, we’ve planted vegetables and flowers, we’ve eaten out, we’ve bought clothes and I’ve also bought a car.

That doesn’t happen very often. I don’t often buy cars. I’m not fond of spending money on cars. There’s always other things to buy (hi-fi, televisions, computers, games consoles, digital cameras, portable music players, holidays away etc etc etc). Cars come way down on my list. I have a car because I need one, not because I want one.

Sadly, our ten year old Renault Megane has been making some very unpleasant noises recently and has also developed a nasty judder whenever it turns right. It’s worth bugger all, so it didn’t seem worth spending any more money on it. Time to get a new car.

But which one? There’s only usually two of us, so we don’t need a large one, but then again we do take the occasional long distance journey.

After much debate, we’ve ended up with a Ford Fusion (the European version, not the American, which is completely different). It was always the front runner. I like the way it looks. Jeremy Clarkson and most motoring journalists strongly disagree.

I’m relieved that the deed has been done. I still have to wait a few days to pick it up, but I don’t have to spend any more hours trawling through car websites, which are not my favourite places.

I think I may have spotted a gap in the market – a car website for people who don’t like cars. The problem with car sites, even the ones with owner reviews, is that the content is written by people who like cars. And they judge everything by the viewpoint of a love of driving. Cars should be fun to drive. Owning a car should be a love affair.

If it moves forward, is cheap to run and is reliable, I’m happy. That’s all I want.

The process of buying the thing was a lot smoother than I expected, but I hate all the paperwork and red-tape that comes with car ownership and the fact that everything is so legal and strict.

“If any of the above information changes,” says the vehicle registration document, “you must tell us immediately.” It goes on to say that failure to do so could result in a fine or imprisonment. Charming. If I sell a CD player or a pair of speakers on Ebay (which I do every now and again), I don’t have to tell the bloody government first.

Nah, me and cars are not the best of bedfellows.

Two years ago I created a little album game for this site. Well, here finally for all the good people who had a go, are the answers.

As far as I’m aware, the top scorer was Colin, who sent me a message in September last year to say that he’d scored 89. So, well done Colin.

1. Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The…
2. Robbie Williams – Escapology
3. Blur – Parklife
4. Nick Drake – Five Leaves Left
5. Carter USM – 101 Damnations
6. The Smiths – The Queen Is Dead
7. Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On
8. Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am…
9. Lemon Jelly – Lost Horizons
10. The Fall – This Nation’s Saving Grace
11. Jethro Tull – Thick As A Brick
12. Michelle Shocked – Short Sharp Shocked
13. Belle And Sebastian – Tigermilk
14. Cocteau Twins – Treasure
15. Julian Cope – Peggy Suicide
16. The Pogues – Rum, Sodomy And The Lash
17. The Velvet Underground – The Velvet Underground And Nico
18. David Bowie – Aladdin Sane
19. Coldplay – X&Y
20. Chumbawamba – Anarchy
21. Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have It So Much Better
22. Propaganda – A Secret Wish
23. Crass – Best Before 1984
24. The Who – Who’s Next
25. The Waterboys – Fisherman’s Blues
26. John Lee Hooker – The Healer
27. The Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
28. Gorillaz – Demon Days
29. Pink Floyd – Atom Heart Mother
30. Airhead – Boing
31. Husker Du – Warehouse: Songs And Stories
32. REM – Document
33. James Blunt – Back To Bedlam
34. Joni Mitchell – Hissing Of Summer Lawns
35. Sade – Diamond Life
36. Electric Light Orchestra – Out Of The Blue
37. The Stone Roses – The Stone Roses
38. Bob Dylan – Bringing It All Back Home
39. Travis – The Man Who
40. The Beautiful South – Welcome To…
41. Television – Marquee Moon
42. The Rolling Stones – Beggars Banquet
43. MC5 – Kick Out The Jams
44. Top Of The Pops – Vol 57 (1977)
45. Richard Hawley – Late Night Final
46. Radiohead – OK Computer
47. The Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
48. Guru – Jazzmatazz Vol. 1
49. Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin IV
50. De La Soul – 3 Feet High And Rising
51. The Chemical Brothers – Exit Planet Dust
52. Various Artists – Hi Energy
53. Ozric Tentacles – Strangeitude
54. Billy Bragg – Workers Playtime
55. Fila Brazillia – Black Market Gardening
56. John Mayall And The Bluesbreakers – Bluesbreakers With Eric Clapton
57. Nirvana – Nevermind
58. Half Man Half Biscuit – Back In The DHSS
59. Miles Davis – Birth Of The Cool
60. Patti Smith – Horses
61. Elvis Presley – Blue Hawaii
62. Massive Attack – Blue Lines
63. Happy Mondays – Bummed
64. The Human League – Dare
65. Genesis – Duke
66. Madness – One Step Beyond
67. U2 – Boy
68. U2 – War
69. Green Day – American Idiot
70. The Incredible String Band – The 5000 Spirits Or The Layers Of The Onion
71. Various Artists – There And Back Again Lane (Sarah Records)
72. Natacha Atlas – Diaspora
73. Public Enemy – It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back
74. The Strokes – Is This It
75. Throwing Muses – Limbo
76. The Heart Throbs – Cleopatra Grip
77. Dexys Midnight Runners – Searching For The Young Soul Rebels
78. Kanye West – Late Registration
79. Public Image Ltd – Album
80. The Bees – Free The Bees
81. Primal Scream – Screamadelica
82. Everything But The Girl – Love Not Money
83. Madonna – Immaculate Collection
84. The Jam – Setting Sons
85. Vashti Bunyan – Just Another Diamond Day
86. Midnight Oil – Diesel And Dust
87. Beck – Odelay
88. Talking Heads – Little Creatures
89. Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill
90. Air – Moon Safari
91. The Jesus And Mary Chain – Darklands
92. Rage Against The Machine – Rage Against The Machine
93. The Doors – Strange Days
94. Steel Pulse – Hadsworth Revolution
95. The Bevis Frond – New River Head
96. Stereophonics – Performance And Cocktails
97. Suede – Suede
98. The Farm – Spartacus
99. Mothers Of Invention – We’re Only In It For The Money
100. The Beatles – Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club

Well, the new site’s only been up a couple of days and already there’s been some changes over on the music blog.

I wasn’t sure about embedding video clips, whether from YouTube, MySpace or the countless other sites now popping up. Legally, it’s a bit of a grey area. Whilst one court has ruled that a link in itself does not constitute copyright theft, a growing feeling is that if you take the proactive step of embedding material which you know to be copyrighted, you are liable. Better safe than sorry, I feel, and I’ve decided to only embed material when there is a clear indication that it’s ok to do so.

Also, I wasn’t sure about the aesthetics of embedding videos on every single post. The site looks better without them, in my eyes.

So instead on embedding, I’ll provide links enabling the user to explore further if they wish. This feels like a better way of doing it as it pushes people to the bands and labels themseleves. If the music blog has a specific agenda, then it’s about exploring what’s out there, uncovering the new, the unusual, the unique, the interesting etc. And if it’s successful it’ll encourage other people to do that too.

Well, it’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally here - the new version of the Cool Blue Shed.

Apart from the look and feel (which, hopefully, is a little easier on the eye), the big change is the introduction of the music blog - www.coolblueshed.co.uk/music.

It’s up and running now, so go take a look.

If all goes well, a comedy blog will be introduced later in the year. Well that’s the plan, anyway (and I’ve said that before).

Thanks for stopping by.

Dave
April 2008